


Evolution is For Losers

by mahoganyfyre



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Getting Together, Humor, Power Outage, Sharing a Bed, Storms, beware there be smut beyond this point okay not true there be smut beyond chapter one, bucky barnes is 50 shades of over it, darcy lewis is 50 shades of over it but in bold underlined, gratuitous usage of the phrase bump in the night, im a slut for a good safehouse fic, me the answer is me, who tf let hydra corner darcy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:47:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26298877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mahoganyfyre/pseuds/mahoganyfyre
Summary: "When we get back to SHIELD I'm writing up a very thorough report. With angry words.Veryangry."Bucky cocks an eyebrow, expression colored with amusement. He turns and spits into the sink before speaking. "I'm sure you'll really strike the fear of God into them, doll.""Oh, I will," she huffs. "They willruethe day they invited me into their very questionable walls.""What makes you think they don't already?" Bucky quips, brushing past her as he heads towards one of the only two beds."Don't get smart with me, Barnes. It's not a pretty look on you."-OR IN WHICH Darcy is Not Okay with staying in an old, abandoned safe house during a power outage.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis
Comments: 13
Kudos: 165





	Evolution is For Losers

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, 911? I'm writing smut. No sir, not until chapter two, so please come get me before I can make risque decisions.  
> -  
> The first chapter wraps up really perfectly if you want a gen/teen oneshot! It's the second chapter where all the sMuT happens. Fair warning

It's not that Darcy and Bucky _aren't_ friends; it's just that asking them to share a safe house together for the night is sort of pushing the boundaries of whatever friendship they're beginning to forge. _Especially_ when the coming storm pre-raging outside has Darcy nearly ready to jump out of her skin. She has a _storm sweater_ , okay? A _system_. You'd think a childhood riddled with midnight tornado sirens, storm shelters, and power outages would have eradicated that fear. Christ. It's not even _storming_ outside.

 _Yet_.

It's coming, creeping closer to them… close enough that it's already knocked out the power. It's going to be a long night, and _of course_ , the flashlights are half dead. And why are there _no_ candles? This one, she asks out loud.

"Because this safehouse hasn't been touched since the nineties," Bucky grumbles around his toothbrush, ass leaned back against the kitchen counter as he watches Darcy pace. At this, she stops and turns towards him, hands on hips.

"When we get back to SHIELD I'm writing up a _very_ thorough report. With angry words. _Very_ angry."

Bucky cocks an eyebrow, expression colored with amusement. He turns and spits into the sink before speaking. "I'm sure you'll really strike the fear of God into them, doll."

"Oh, I will," she huffs. "They will _rue_ the day they invited me into their very questionable walls."

"What makes you think they don't already?" Bucky quips, brushing past her as he heads towards one of the only two beds. It's not so much a safe house as it is a safe _room_ in the _middle of fucking nowhere_. There's a tiny kitchenette, an even smaller bathroom, and somewhat of a breathable space with two beds crammed against opposing walls.

"Don't get smart with me, Barnes. It's not a pretty look on you." She marches towards the bathroom, ready to take her turn before crawling into her own rickety bed. When Bucky snorts and calls out, "You spend a lot of time thinking about what looks pretty on me?" Darcy throws a scowl over her shoulder, eyebrows furrowed with irritation. She's not even all that mad, she's just… not scared. Definitely not scared. What's there to be scared of? It's not even storming.

The small flashlight she's gripping like a lifeline flickers out, and a distressed noise escapes her as she squeezes her eyes shut. Darcy has always had too dangerous an imagination. The mental image of her opening her eyes and meeting in the mirror a face that decidedly is _not_ hers makes her a little sick to her stomach. It's with the mere _thought_ of something tapping at the high bathroom window that has her stumbling backward out of the bathroom. She pulls it shut with a breath of relief, knowing how _ridiculous_ she's being, but _Christ_ , can you even imagine how terrifying it would be if something started knocking at the bathroom door from the _inside_.

"Fuck," she mutters angrily (read: spooked) at her brain and nearly trips on her way over to the other vacant bed, swiping her phone off the counter and fumbling for the flashlight setting. This is some serious bullshit. The whole damn thing, really. She hastily hops onto the bed as the light from her phone floods the room.

"Absolutely not," Bucky says, voice firm as he shoots Darcy - and her phone - a severe look.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean." She's got the blankets pulled all the way up to her chin as she lays on her side, facing Bucky.

"I'm serious."

"It's for protection! There are _things_ that go bump in the night. Dangerous things." Bucky rolls his eyes.

" _I'm_ dangerous, Lewis. I'm the _things_ that go bump in the night, and I'm right here. You know _exactly_ where the danger is."

"How _naive_ you are, my dude. Things that go bump in the night usually bump at _other things_ that go bump in the night, and so what if something comes to claim this territory, hmm? What now, smart guy?" Darcy definitely isn't shaking, and she _definitely_ isn't imagining the fear she'd feel if her eyes flickered over to the corner, and some distorted creature was staring back at her.

"And you think the light will save you?" Bucky has rolled onto his side, facing away from her, and tucked himself into the crevice between the bed and wall. Darcy frowns at his back.

"No," she says slowly as if explaining to a child. "But I'll be able to see it coming. I can look Death in the face before she steals the life from my poor, decrepit lungs."

There's a beat of silence before a deep, resigned sigh breaks between them. "Darcy, you're fine. If anything is headed this way, I can promise I'll hear it coming."

There's another beat of silence as Darcy considers this. It's _beside_ the point. She is a strong, independent woman who doesn't need no man to protect her from the darkness… her phone does that well enough for her.

"Bucky," she huffs lightly, "you can put a pillow over your head. I can't suddenly develop super hearing or night vision."

Bucky grumbles, the sound low and gravely, as he flips the blanket off him and rolls off the bed to his feet. Darcy sucks in a breath and scrambles for her phone with a dramatic, squeaked, "Okay, so I guess I can try to, I mean evolution is for losers anyway, right?"

Before she can fumble once more for the phone to flip the light off, Bucky is manhandling her closer to the wall until he's slotted comfortably on the bed beside her. Darcy's jaw drops. He'd just… In her bed? Her mouth is still ajar when, after a long moment of silence settles between them, Bucky cracks one eye open and looks over at her. They're pressed shoulder to shoulder, and she doesn't resist when he picks her phone up from off her stomach and shuts down the flashlight setting.

"Now you've got the bump in the night, the supersoldier hearing, _and_ night vision all wrapped up in one very disgruntled package. Safe to say, I'm better than sleeping with a flashlight. Do you think you can sleep now? In the _dark_ , preferably."

Darcy considers this for a moment. These beds are _small_ , and she'd complain about having to share a single thin blanket between them, but, quite frankly, Bucky is radiating body heat like a damn furnace. She's nodding dumbly, about to say _fuck it_ and settle against his side when light floods the room and something slams into the side of the safe house on the other side of the wall she's pressed to and honestly fuck _that_.

Without thought or any clear _plan_ of action, Darcy scrambles to get over Bucky and to very much get _away_ from the offending wall. Fuck this whole damn situation, she'll stay up playing solitaire on her phone. Sleep is for the weak.

Absently she notes the elbow she's dug suddenly into Bucky's stomach and _definitely_ tries not to think about how her knee _definitely_ connects close enough to his junk that he doubles over, bringing his knees up as she falls in a heap to the floor. Except her fucking _feet_ are tangled into the sheets and _god, something has her_ , and what if Jane never sees her again?

Fingers wrap around her ankle, still twisted up in the sheets, and Darcy can feel the scream building in her chest when Bucky says her name sharp enough that all her attention snaps to him. "Darcy, you have _got_ to relax."

"I'm not crazy," is all that tumbles out of her in response. "I'm _cautious_."

Bucky sighs heavily. "Of a snapped tree branch."

 _Yeah_. Yeah, that tracks. Lightening, a broken branch. It all adds up. Not at all something _using the oncoming storm as a cover to catch them unawares. Nope_.

Something of this must read in her expression because Bucky closes his eyes and pinches high on the bridge of his nose. "Do you want me to check it out?"

"Oh God, yes, please," Darcy gasps. "I mean if that's not too much to ask."

"Too much? Of course not," he mutters dry and sarcastic, pulling himself to his feet and then dropping his hands to Darcy's shoulders before walking her backward a step or two until she hits the side of his bed and drops down onto her butt. "Stay put. Just in case your madness isn't so madness after all."

He stalks towards the door, oblivious to how her eyes widen as she squeaks, "Is that a possibility?"

The screen door bounces shut, and Darcy collapses sideways onto the bed. This fucking blows. She just wants to be home. Things weren't supposed to go South. They've all been in Berlin for over two weeks. At this point, Darcy isn't even sure what the goal is, but she knows Jane and Tony both are growing more and more agitated.

 _Over two weeks_.

Darcy had needed a break to make the most of this trip, and long story short, a quick jaunt down to Prague did not check off the _making the most of it_ box. It _should_ have. But Hydra is a cold bitch, and Darcy had forgotten how many panic buttons Stark had built into various accessories she wore. She'd nearly cried when Bucky had pulled her from whatever hidey-hole she'd found for herself. The sun had set by that point, and who knew Prague would be a Hydra hotspot? Hence, the old, abandoned safehouse Darcy is hell-bent on burning to the ground before being retrieved in the morning.

By this time tomorrow, she'll be curled up in her own bed. _Warm and safe._ Darcy snatches the pillow at the foot of the bed and curls herself around it before burying herself under the blanket. _Screw Hydra_.

She's nearly asleep, thoughts wading through the haze of sleep when she feels a dip in the mattress behind her. _Right_. This is Bucky's bed. Darcy nearly groans, preparing for a snarky remark that never comes. Instead, there's a heat pressing against her back, and she hums appreciatively. Bucky hums in response, and when Darcy latches onto the arm, wrapped around her waist, he sighs, breath ghosting across her shoulder blade.

"No bump in the night?" she asks, voice heavy with sleep.

Bucky tightens his grip around her and yawns. "Just me."

**Author's Note:**

> Why yes I do have a tumblr ([mahoganyfyre](https://mahoganyfyre.tumblr.com/)), I say to literally nobody who asked.
> 
> Please feed the goblin. I'm sitting on a flowershop au (because ya girl is a sucker for cliches) and a big boi fake relationship au (I will live and die by this trope) and Darcy coming across Bucky before Steve finds him and honestly I am living my best life in this fandom


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